


Savages

by prunescholar



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sgrub Session, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-16
Updated: 2012-02-16
Packaged: 2017-10-31 06:24:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/340940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prunescholar/pseuds/prunescholar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <span>CT: D --> I stopped you from getting killed in that e%treme roleplaying game </span>
  <br/>
  <span>CT: D --> I pulled strings after the debacle with that seditious messaging board </span>
  <br/>
  <span>CT: D --> And yet you actually see fit to heed the advice of those subversives </span>
  <br/>
  <span>CT: D --> That radical artistic mob you're in cahoots with </span>
  <br/>
  <span>CT: D --> They have planted this 100rid notion into your pan </span>
  <br/>
  <span>CT: D --> And you have let it grow </span>
  <br/>
  <span>CT: D --> I admit I am at fault for not taking a%ion sooner </span>
  <br/>
  <span>CT: D --> I have done my best to support you but now you have gone too far </span>
  <br/>
  <span>CT: D --> This scheme will be the death of you </span>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Savages

**Author's Note:**

> A spiritual sequel to "The Happy Clown" and a Valentine's Week fic about my OTP.
> 
> Trigger warnings for references to blood and non-con.
> 
> A really huge thank-you to all of you that read/rated/reblogged my very first fic (especially paratactician, without whom I wouldn’t even be writing in this fandom): there would not be a second one without you.

Here, a length of copper guttering, a cracked clump of ornate stucco, a periwinkle minaret. There, a glistening fountain and half a marble staircase, capsized. In the distance, a gossamer moon orbits a leering alabaster death mask. The entire mindscape is bathed in a beguiling crimson light.

The thousand floating fragments lurch wildly from their weary suspension. At the edge of the ruined portico, Phaedra cannot hold him. 

See, his pale hands are slipping. 

He is a proud, insufferable, vulnerable, wonderful Arbonian marked for death. She will never pity another, as long as her brief life lasts. Her voice cracks out: 

“Colonel, don’t go. Don’t leave me!”

He smiles, defiantly. 

“You know I’ve been gone a long time now.”

Phaedra shakes her head violently, her pink fringe flopping down.

“No! I don’t care what happened. We can still be together, here, in this place.”

The visor obscures the Colonel’s coral eyes. When he looks up, his face is soft, and sad. 

“You don’t have the chakra to anchor me _and_ defeat Eris. Birmingham needs your power. It needs the power of the Lightforce Trout.”

Phaedra strangles a keening cry though gritted teeth. She speaks with childlike indignation.

“What’s the point in fighting if we can’t be together?”

He splays his hands in an indecipherable gesture.

“Restore the world.”

And with that, Colonel Baps falls upwards, disintegrating, into the moon. 

She rises from her knees. Her war-scarred hands, clenched. Her tail, alert. Her face, set. A dark circle appears on the floor, is joined by another, and another, and another, until Phaedra’s tears have soaked the ground through. With a thunderclap, the mindscape contracts, its surrogate reality faltering. 

The sky swims, the sea burns, the dead scream and the living pray for death. Fat drops of acid plummet from the sky; eat maggoty holes in skin and stone alike. The rotten heart of empire. Aberdeen. 

Our hero turns to face the Empress. Fire is in her eyes. 

“My name is Phaedra Delphinius. You have stolen the one most precious to me, and I will make you pay.”

She bellows the incantation:

“CARFAX. ARISTOTLE. UGANDA!”

A burst of light, and gills appear on Phaedra’s neck. Her bloodline’s ceremonial war tattoo rises like a bruise to her face, and two tall, ethereal fins sprout in turn from each of her shoulder blades. 

Eris throws her scarlet head back and laughs. In an instant, she shadowsteps behind Phaedra and delivers a crushing backhand blow to the base of her neck, ploughing her thirty feet through the dirt and into a Doric column which dutifully explodes.

Silence. And then - 

Eris’ eyes bulge outwards; neck gripped from behind. There’s a sound like the stretching of leather.

“It seems you underestimate me.”

Eris smiles, cheerfully. She shoots Phaedra a sly glance.

“Your technique has improved, I’ll grant you that. But you’re still no goddess. Did you forget the prophecy? No mortal’s hand will ever stay my hatred.”

Phaedra pulls Eris round by the shoulder to face her, still gripping at her neck. She roars and leans in close enough her lashes brush the bridge of Eris’ nose.

“Just watch me”.

***

Nepeta stopped the playback and stretched her arms out, yowling. She dragged the slider back and went to watch the whole scene yet again; thought better of it and switched tabs with her thumbnail.

On her lap flailed Baps and Phaedra. Surrounding them was a mindscape which was quite possibly, and almost certainly, really awful. Nepeta tapped at the half-finished doodle with her stylus and bit at the side of her hand. What had once been a gazebo had morphed into a pie; a similar alchemy turned balustrades to chitinsticks and levelled parks into a formless, doughy, mess. Maybe she ought to scratch the whole thing out, start work on an AU where Phaedra had traumatic memories of bakery instead.

_Fic: Phaedra is apprenticed at birth to blubberbeast from baking collective in S2E03. She uses her monster powers to create the most delicious cakes in Sector 6. But what’s this? Her dream of performing the Ultimate Bake are hampered by dashing young rivals Baps and Eriphyle! As darkness falls on Sector 6, how will Phaedra thwart the sinister schemes of Eris, evil Empress of Aberdeen Confectionary Incorporated?_

_Pros: Amazing in every way  
Cons: ???_

Nepeta’s hungersack protested. It was probably time to eat. She lifted the tablet off her thighs, stood up, and placed it slowly on the dresser with a surprising air of finality. 

Nepeta had no need for gifts or money. What she didn’t have in her cave was easy to obtain. Her food and clothes were the flesh and skins of beasts; the veldt was her larder and wardrobe. She recalled with a chuckle the carpenter droid which finished her hive. When she dismissed it after a handful of changes it had raised its arms in an exasperated sort of fashion. It had pottered and puzzled and finally slunk away like a chastened little critter, puffing oily smoke. 

And yet, last sweep, she’d exchanged some pelts for ArtBux, advised by a fellow forumite of _World of Arts & Craft_. The plan had been to trade it into Spark, the in-game currency, and from there to buy some first-tier tools to help improve her output. She’d been saving up assiduously, until the day she’d seen that dresser. Not that she needed somewhere to store her clothes. They were often caked in blood and dust, it’s true, but they were simple enough to clean. No, it was decorated with astonishing scenes from _Monstrous Upstart Phaedra_ , Nepeta’s new obsession. She bought it next day, much to her friend’s amusement. The dresser arrived soon after. Its palette clashed grotesquely with her cave’s.

For the first few weeks Nepeta stared wistfully at the dresser and lost all track of time, motionless save for the occasional mew. It was, at once, the most beautiful and most atrocious work of art she’d ever seen. Beautiful, for what it promised about romance and fantasy and justice. Atrocious, for what it meant about the world at large. It was better than catnip. It was worse than a call to arms. 

Nepeta thought back to her sketch and felt funny in the guts. She squatted down and cut the last meat out of her oldest kill. She scooped this up in her arms and heaped it onto the flat rock countertop. It smelt rather high. She pared the fat and the gristle from the flesh and flicked it off into a small ceramic pot. Next, she sliced the slabs of flesh into slender strips with her index finger, working from top to bottom. Slice, slice, slice, slice. Nepeta stooped down and washed her hands in an alluvial trough below. They shook a little. 

She consulted her recipe. Cooking, too, was a fairly novel endeavour, but one which had grown into a pet project and favoured way to relax. She fetched down an oilskin from a hook in the rock and measured out a few handfuls into the small pot. Licking her fingers, she laid the fat pouch out to one side, and headed through the curtain which marked the eastern exit. 

Her garden was small, but serviceable. Stakes sunk deep discouraged all but the most foolhardy of creatures. Nepeta stalked over to the furthest of her plots. She paused a moment, silhouetted in the half-light of a hundred captive glowbugs. She wiggled. Tongue plastered fast against her upper lip, she pounced, claws sinking their full lengths loamward. With a flourish, she unearthed one bulb, then two, until she had amassed a small mound of stinking, twitching, ovoid things. She promptly took the lot inside and dumped them on the counter. 

Preparing unguids was a joyless task. They squealed and farted as Nepeta reduced them to slices of wet, rubbery matter, and she found her mind wondering back to _Phaedra_.

_How purrgressive is MUP? The gender balance is good, and there’s examples of women as soldiers and men in high office (though most of them are warriors too, which is sad). MUP is a really strong critique of empire and probably the whole art team would have been culled if it wasn’t for the other aspects of the story (lead animator Fara, noooo!) Caste is where it gets a bit purrblematic. Phaedra’s most powerful technique is channelling the high bloodline limit of the Lightforce Trout, and Eris has a red face. Fur crying out loud, even a wiggler could see the politics of that one._

_Phaedra is interesting (and pretty!) Her affinity for the beasts and the monsters is that old stereotype of a woman as prime hunter (yeah I am SO subversive) but! The way she uses her powers to protect order and expand the territory of the Resistance is very masculine. The way she has the powers of multiple creatures is interesting ‘cause it makes her a kind of everytroll and also it suggests that trolls of all castes should be able to work together as equals (maybe?)_

_Baps is probably my fave character after Phaedra. SO cool that he makes the first move to become moirails. Also interesting how the series really revolves around Phaedra/Baps as the core pairing, without doing the whole will-they-wont-they-flush that happens in every other drama nowadays. At least, I GUESS that Phaedra/Baps is the core pairing, you could probably argue that Phaedra/Eris is but it’s a pretty unstable arrangement and kind of squicky if you think about it._

_Studio Mara totally know their fans; all the ships are made of solid gold. Even the minor characters are really well drawn (Draco is so cute, so should have read some more Draco/Baps while I got the chance) and you just know they expanded the role of Agatha because of the outpurring of fanlove after the season 1 finale. LOVE Agatha’s theme and the music this time round is fantastic. I don’t know who Mara hired as a composer, but those troll choruses are just. amazing. It must be so hard to be a troll musician… I can’t even get drawings riiiiiiiiiiiiiaow!_

Nepeta dropped the unguid. A large blob of chartreuse welled up from her right palm; an unnecessary reminder. She swiftly lapped it up: the taste was bitter, but rich. 

_It tastes just like Terezi’s_

The unguid rolled onto the floor, desperately rocking itself to safety. Nepeta hooked it up, diced it, added its body to the others, and added these to a deep ceramic pot in which she’d laid the meat. These were quickly coated with a few liberal lashings from the oilskin, which she returned to the wall, and a mixture of herbs, picked capriciously from some storage jars. It happened that there were a few unguids left over, so Nepeta placed these into the smaller pot instead. Washing her hands, she dialled the furnace to a moderate heat, and set both pots inside.

It would be a while before dinner was ready. Nepeta bit her hand, went back to the dresser, picked up the tablet and opened Trollian.

**AC: :33 equius, are you there??**  
CT: D --> Yes   
AC: :33 like i told you befur  
AC: :33 i really n33d your help   
AC: :33 sooo are you going to help me or not?   
CT: D --> I have rendered sufficient assistance   
CT: D --> You e%pect too much   
AC: :33 i really apurrciate all that you've done so fur   
AC: :33 but what i n33d most of all is you   
AC: :33 i n33d you to come with me, equius   
AC: :33 i can't do this alone   
CT: D --> 100k   
CT: D --> I understand the fi% you are in   
CT: D --> But the source of this problem is that lower-caste rabble who have brainwashed you   
CT: D --> They have filled your impressionable little head full of their e%ecrable nonsense   
AC: :33 uhhh not this again   
AC: :33 do i have to explain everything from scratch   
CT: D --> There was a time when you would heed your moirail's instru%ions   
CT: D --> I remember it fondly   
CT: D --> I protected you from the weakness of character that made you prone to the manipulations of others   
CT: D --> That horrible naivety so typical to those of your b100d   
AC: :33 uggggggh   
CT: D --> Be quiet   
CT: D --> I stopped you from getting killed in that e%treme roleplaying game   
CT: D --> I pulled strings after the debacle with that seditious messaging board   
CT: D --> And yet you actually see fit to heed the advice of those subversives   
CT: D --> That radical artistic mob you're in cahoots with   
CT: D --> They have planted this 100rid notion into your pan   
CT: D --> And you have let it grow   
CT: D --> I admit I am at fault for not taking a%ion sooner   
CT: D --> I have done my best to support you but now you have gone too far   
CT: D --> This scheme will be the death of you   
AC: :33 hissssss   
AC: :33 i can't belive you're saying this   
AC: :33 it's like our purrevious confursations never happened   
AC: :33 you're the very bestest meowrail a troll could ask fur   
AC: :33 and you've gotten me out of a bunch of scrapes, it's true   
AC: :33 but i n33d you to prick up those big sweaty ears of yours and listen to me   
AC: :33 i can think for myself   
AC: :33 and that's exactly why I've come to this conclusion   
CT: D --> This is unmitigated f001ishness   
CT: D --> You have become so blinded by their filth you think you're in control   
CT: D --> This is a mistake and you will stop   
AC: :33 no! you're wrong! wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong   
AC: :33 wrong like you are about the hem spectrum   
AC: :33 if all of the lower hues are so horrible and nasty like you say   
AC: :33 then what about that guy you were so sw33t on?   
CT: D --> He was an e%eption   
CT: D --> A e%emplar of how far you can come despite the defe% of one's breeding   
AC: :33 ugh do you have any idea how patronising that is   
CT: D --> I do not require another le%ure, Nepeta   
AC: :33 fine! But even if I didn't go through with my plans I'm going to get culled regardless   
AC: :33 you KNOW that   
AC: :33 and the stupid thing is you're in the same purrsition as me and still you won't s33 reason!   
CT: D --> Whatever gave you that idea?   
CT: D --> I will have you know that I am in possession of the adequate resources required to qualify me for my new life as an adult   
AC: :33 oh, equius   
AC: :33 please don't tell me that you went to that sex party   
CT: D --> More filthy lowb100d slang   
CT: D --> It was not a se% party   
CT: D --> It was merely a gathering of trolls who desired to facilitate the procedures e%pected of those of a certain age   
AC: :33 :((   
AC: :33 how did it go?   
CT: D --> I achieved my aim, but truth be told it was most unsatisfactory   
AC: :33 oh???   
CT: D --> It's a difficult thing to relate   
CT: D --> I was in the process of performing my duty with one particular troll   
CT: D --> The situation became unpleasant and I wished to disengage   
CT: D --> Yet I feared that undue resistance would prove fatal on account of my great strength   
CT: D --> So I was required to endure the unpleasantness until our transa%ion was complete   
AC: :33 equius, equius!   
AC: :33 are you coping OK?   
AC: :33 how could they do that to you my beautiful sw33t mewrail   
AC: :33 should I come over? I can come over   
CT: D --> Nepeta, it’s OK   
CT: D --> I will be STRONG   
CT: D --> I needed a way to fulfill my duty, and I secured it   
CT: D --> That is all there is to say on the matter   
AC: :33 are you sure?   
AC: :33 if you ever, ever want to talk about it, i will be there for you   
AC: :33 if there's anything i can say, or do, just let me know   
AC: :33 like fillet that bastard troll   
AC: :33 that is one of the many things i can do for you   
CT: D --> Please Nepeta, the matter is done with   
CT: D --> And if you want to help me, you know there is one thing you must do   
AC: :33 i'm sorry, equius   
AC: :33 i will do almost anything for you   
AC: :33 but i can't do that :((   
CT: D --> Then I believe our conversation is at an end 

Tears dripped from the edge of her nose and pattered onto the touchscreen. The chatlog slowly turned into a pretty turquoise puddle. 

When Nepeta came to, Pounce was pressing up against her. She absentmindedly shifted so that the cat could scratch her cheek against her knucklebone. She sniffed the air. 

“It looks like someone’s hungry”.

They settled down to supper. Pounce had already eaten, but Nepeta liked to give her a taste of what she’d cooked up, too. When she opened up the smaller pot, Pounce gave a delighted little purr. 

Nepeta found the food quite tasteless. The unguids were tough and the oil had turned most meat a stodgy bluey-grey. 

Later, entwined together, the sorrow ebbed away. In its place there was a muddy mixture of anger, fear, and a weariness Nepeta had to fight back tooth and claw. She looked to the dresser for support. Phaedra’s eyes returned the stare. She picked up her tablet from the desk. She had someone to talk to. 

**AC: :33 terezi**  
AC: :33 i n33d to speak to you   
AC: :33 but i should warn you before I start   
AC: :33 i'm in a really bad mood right now 

But there was no response. 

Nothing. No friends, no lovers, no lasting achievements. And soon, no moirail. At times like these she had this terrible impulse to plunge straight down into the depths of misery, to dissolve completely and perhaps find there a kind of peace. But part of her refused to be negated. Surely it was better to go on in spite of everything against her, it said, to spite them all, to show them they were wrong, to make the bad mean something other than a wounding and a loss. 

And even then a synapse flared and dredged up some twee song from an old show:

_Can't you see that I am a pioneer  
Unlocking the greatest mysteries  
My key is a fearless heart  
So pure and strong _

_People laugh when you are a pioneer  
Not walking the straight and narrow  
They tell you the way things are  
They swear you're wrong_

“You are Nepeta Leijon. _Nepeta fucking Leijon_. You will never let them beat you, mewrail or no mewrail.”

There was a great shifting, like an orchestral swell. Nepeta sprung to her feet. She struck a defiant pose. Then, she saw the light blink on her computer.

She sat back down again.

**GC: WH4TS TH3 M4TT3R?**  
AC: :33 so you are there   
AC: :33 i just can't k33p up this purrtense that we're on good terms anymore   
AC: :33 i just don't have the energy   
AC: :33 i want you to know that i really resent all the times that you weren't there for me   
AC: :33 all those times you couldn’t talk   
AC: :33 all those times we couldn’t meet   
AC: :33 and that although I think you didn’t mean to   
AC: :33 you really really hurt me   
GC: N3P3T4, 1S TH1S 4BOUT YOUR BL4CK SOL1C1T4T1ON   
GC: 1'M SORRY, 1 JUST DON'T TH1NK OF YOU TH4T W4Y   
AC: :33 arghhhhhhh!!! no it's not about that at all   
AC: :33 we have so much in common   
AC: :33 i thought we were kindred spirits!   
AC: :33 roleplayers, gamers, gr33nbloods, outlanders   
AC: :33 i admired you so much   
AC: :33 and then it turned out that to you I'm just a joke   
AC: :33 some private little gag you tell your friends   
AC: :33 "OH N3P3T4? YEAH SH3S TH4T CR4ZY C4TG1IRL CH1CK 1 US3D TO KNOW   
AC: :33 1 TH1NK SH3 H4S A CRUSH ON M3 OR SOM3TH1NG"   
AC: :33 karkat must have b33n lapping it up   
GC: N3P3T4   
AC: :33 you heartless unf33ling poophead!!!   
AC: :33 you knew that troll was the love of my life   
AC: :33 you knew and you went and did it anyway   
AC: :33 and it took you less than a sw33p to chew him up and spit him out   
AC: :33 and the funny thing is he'd STILL rather be with you than me   
AC: :33 it's all so messed up   
AC: :33 you have this effect on people   
AC: :33 everyone wants a piece of miss dragonmint dewdrop   
AC: :33 you're fighting off advances from all corners   
AC: :33 even scary ol' vwiskers   
AC: :33 you k33p all of these trolls in thrall   
AC: :33 and the happy chosen few enjoy your company a while   
AC: :33 it's good while it lasts   
AC: :33 but all of us get dropped in time   
AC: :33 beclaws the person you care most about is you   
GC: TH3 4NGRY GR33N T4NG OF J34LOUSY  
GC: M4YB3 YOU'D H4V3 MOR3 4DV4NC3S 1F YOU D1DN'T H4V3 TH1S M4SS1VE V1CT1M COMPL3X  
GC: OR C4LM3D DOWN LONG 3NOUGH YOU W3RENT SO INT3NS3 4ND 4NNOYING SOM3T1M3S  
AC: :33 ...  
GC: SORRY  
GC: TH4T W4S R34LLY H4RSH OF M3  
GC: 1 JUST...  
GC: YOU TOUCH3D 4 N3RV3 1S 4LL  
AC: :33 you can kick a stray cat only so many times  
AC: :33 before it turns around and bites you back :((  
GC: W3LP   
GC: 1'M SURE 1T TOOK 4 LOT OF COUR4G3 TO COM3 ON H3R3 4ND CONFRONT TH3 T3RR1BL3 DR4GONYYYD  
GC: SO DO YOU F33L 4NY B3TT3R NOW?  
AC: :33 yes  
GC: 1'M NOT 4S COLD OR AS H3ARTLESS 4S YOU TH1NK THOUGH  
GC: 4LTHOUGH 1T'S CL34R YOU'VE BU1LT M3 UP TO B3 4 MONST3R  
GC: >;[  
AC: :33 i'm sorry what I'm saying had to come out like this  
AC: :33 i'm scheduled to be culled tomorrow  
GC: FUCK  
GC: WHY?  
AC: :33 i'm a stalepail  
AC: :33 i didn't sort my quadrants out in time  
GC: 1 GU3SS TH4T 3XPL41NS WH3R3 YOUR3 4T R1GHT NOW  
GC: 4ND WHY YOU N33D TO S3T TH1NGS STR41GHT W1TH M3  
AC: :33 uh huh  
AC: :33 but i also want you to know that although i'm furrociously angry with you  
AC: :33 i still think you're a great troll  
AC: :33 and i furgive you  
GC: N3P3T4 WAIT  
GC: DONT GO  
AC: :33 tell me something, Terezi  
AC: :33 why do they do it to us?  
GC: TH3 P41L CULL1NGS?  
AC: :33 no not that  
AC: :33 not that exactly  
AC: :33 what i mean is why do they let us grow up like this?  
AC: :33 let us purrsue almost any hobby we want, encourage us to be great poets, farmers, builders, artists?  
AC: :33 fill our pans with all these high hopes and dreams  
AC: :33 when all it comes down to is  
AC: :33 fuck or die   
AC: :33 fight and die  
AC: :33 to br33d in us this festering limitless dead-end creativity  
AC: :33 then ship us across the stars to wage their wars of conquest  
AC: :33 it s33ms to me it would be an awfurl lot kinder if they just raised us as military drones from the get-go   
GC: N3P3T4 TH1S 1S D4NG3ROUS T4LK   
GC: H3R3 W41T 4 S3COND   
AC: :33 what did you do?   
GC: S3CUR1TY PROTOCOL  
GC: 1 TH1NK 4LL OF US KNOW TH4T TH3R3S SOM3TH1NG WRONG 4BOUT TH3 W4Y TH1NGS 4R3  
GC: 3V3N TH3 SLOW ON3S  
GC: L1K3 3V3N G4MZ33  
GC: BUT YOU N33D TO UND3RST4ND  
GC: YOU H4V3 TO B3 W1TH1N TH3 SYST3M 1F YOU W4NT TO M4K3 4 CH4NG3  
GC: 1F TH3R3S ON3 TH1NG 4LT3RN14N GOV3RNM3NT H4S D3MONSTR4T3D COUNTL3SS T1M3S THROUGHOUT H1STORY  
GC: 1TS TH4T 1T 1S 3XTR3M3LY R3S1L13NT TO 4NY SORT OF CH4NG3 FROM W1THOUT  
AC: :33 i understand that  
AC: :33 that's one of the reasons i like my moirail so much  
GC: >:?  
AC: :33 he understands what's expected of him  
AC: :33 he understands the game  
AC: :33 and yet he finds a way to play it anyway  
AC: :33 it's one of the things i admired about you  
AC: :33 although i suspect you actually enjoy the game :((  
GC: >:[  
AC: :33 but i just can't pull it off no matter how hard i try  
AC: :33 i hate this place  
AC: :33 and i'm too much of an idealist to play their game  
AC: :33 all i ever wanted was the world to accept me for who i am and what i had to say  
AC: :33 and for you to care about me as a friend  
AC: :33 but since i can't have that  
AC: :33 all i want is for the world to leave me the fuck alone  
AC: :33 and, i guess, for you to leave me the fuck alone as well  
GC: SO WH4T 4R3 YOU GO1NG TO DO  
GC: L13 DOWN 4ND W41T FOR CULL1NG?  
GC: TH3R3 4R3 LOOPHOL3S  
GC: YOU C4N 4PP34L  
AC: :33 no  
AC: :33 i'm leaving  
GC: OH  
GC: W41T   
GC: WH4T?  
AC: :33 i'm leaving alternia on a ship of my own  
GC: N3P3T4 PL34S3  
GC: TH4T 1S S1LLY T4LK  
GC: 3V3N 1F YOU FOUND 4 SH1P  
GC: YOU W1LL NOT CL34R TH3 LOC4L S3CTOR B3FOR3 4 P4TROL CRU1S3R FL4GS YOU DOWN   
GC: 4ND TH3 PUN1SHM3NT FOR D3S3RT1ON 1S 4 WHOL3 LOT WORS3  
GC: B3L13V3 M3  
GC: 1V3 R34D TH3 D14GR4MS  
AC: :33 goodbye, terezi  
AC: :33 and thanks for all the good times :33

Nepeta sighed. She suddenly became aware of how tense she was, and tried to force her muscles to relax. It didn‘t work. Had she betrayed Terezi? Should she have just left matters as they stood? Nepeta tried to concentrate, but her head was too full up. She had to pack and move her things into the ship. Quickly. She’d just about made a mental list of all the extra things she thought she’d need: 

_Spare claws  
Claw sharpener  
Preserved meats  
Spare sopor  
Clothes_

When she felt her hands trace out familiar shapes upon her tablet one more time 

**AC: :33 equius**  
AC: :33 i’d like to apologise  
CT: D --> Cease talking  
AC: :33 :((  
CT: D --> I mean  
CT: D --> If you don’t mind  
CT: D --> I am not %  
CT: D --> I simply wish to be the first to issue a full and sincere apology  
AC: :33 oh  
CT: D --> Nepeta, you were correct in your assessment  
CT: D --> I am not feeling alright  
CT: D --> We can jam about that at some other time, though  
CT: D --> Regardless, my conduct during our previous conversation was una%eptable  
CT: D --> It was highly unbefitting of my position as your moirail  
CT: D --> I wish you to know that I have taken appropriate steps to abase myself  
CT: D --> Many of them were quite  
CT: D --> E%hausting  
AC: :33 ewwwww i wish you wouldn’t tell me when you do that  
AC: :33 but anyway!  
AC: :33 *prowls around in a circle before enacting a surprise POUNCE-TURNABOUT on the oblivious musclebeast*  
AC: :33 *she stares into the prone beast’s face and opens both mouths wide to say*  
AC: :33 it is I who should be apologising to you, you great big hoofbiscuit!  
CT: D --> *Hoofbiscuit concedes temporarily to some form of roleplay in the spirit of contrition*  
CT: D --> *He pretends to incline his horsey head downwards in a gesture of submission to his feline assailant*  
AC: :33 h33h33  
AC: :33 but seriously  
AC: :33 i’ve b33n wrong to be putting so much of a purrden on you lately  
AC: :33 i’ve b33n getting you to do all of my emotional heavy lifting and for that I really want to apologise  
CT: D --> Well as far as heavy-lifting goes  
CT: D --> I am e%cptionally STRONG  
CT: D --> Even where emotional theatri% are concerned  
AC: :33 on the matter of my purrlitics  
AC: :33 i don’t expect you to understand my purrclivities  
AC: :33 or even my rationale for doing this thing  
AC: :33 and I don’t need you to share my views  
AC: :33 i just want you to respect them  
CT: D --> This is fine  
AC: :33 and that’s why I’ve decided  
AC: :33 i’m fine to take that ship you built and fly out of here alone  
AC: :33 i don’t have enough words to thank you for all that you’ve given me now and through the sw33ps  
AC: :33 you are the best troll  
AC: :33 It’s you :33  
CT: D --> Nepeta I have decided something  
CT: D --> I want to come with you  
AC: :33 :oo  
CT: D --> You have made valid points in our discussions of late  
CT: D --> I cannot agree with all your politi%  
CT: D --> but I concur that there is something very wrong  
CT: D --> it’s not at all how they described it in the boo% of legend  
CT: D --> there is no honor or dignity  
CT: D --> in the course of my empirical investigations of society  
CT: D --> I have discovered only filth and disappointment   
CT: D --> With one e%ception  
AC: :33 *dramatic paws*  
AC: :33 and what would that be?  
CT: D --> Not what but who  
CT: D --> You are the e%ception  
CT: D --> It’s you  
AC: :33 :33  
CT: D --> And that’s why I will not desert you  
CT: D --> We shall let the highb100ds know there is both honor and beauty left in this world  
CT: D --> Even if we must needs forge it with our hands  
AC: :33 hey…  
AC: :33 was that a quote from Monstrous Upstart Phaedra?  
CT: D --> Yes  
AC: :33 X33  
CT: D --> I was given to understand that you rate this work quite highly  
CT: D --> I therefore sought to acquaint myself with it  
CT: D --> This was to prove a pleasant surprise for you  
AC: :33 it is! :33  
AC: :33 so, what did you think?  
CT: D --> It was, quite frankly, preposterous  
CT: D --> The narrative left much to be desired  
CT: D --> And the episodes were full of such mawkish fluff it would have made a wiggler blush  
CT: D --> I, being of STRONG constitution, persevered until the end  
CT: D --> Purely for research purposes, you understand  
AC: :33 of course  
CT: D --> However, the character of Baps was most commendable  
CT: D --> He has the natural instin% of a general and yet a compassion rarely seen among such individuals  
CT: D --> He reminds me of the folk heroes of the Alternian Silver Age  
CT: D --> Phaedra would have come to nothing without Baps  
CT: D --> Her monstrous powers would surely have consumed her  
AC: :33 weeeeellll I happen to think that Baps was very lucky to meet Phaedra!  
AC: :33 her struggle gave a purpose to his life  
AC: :33 she is such a noble, brave, courageous fighter  
AC: :33 AND a real inspiration to all of those around her  
AC: :33 even though the folks who didn’t know her all that well mistreated her and held her in ill-repute  
AC: :33 she showed them all the error of their ways :33  
CT: D --> An e%cellent moirallegiance  
CT: D --> You could almost say they worked as well as us  
AC: :33 almost! :33  
CT: D --> You should prepare  
CT: D --> I will see you soon

*** 

The night is fresh and fragrant, save for a bolt-grey spreading smear which blots the sky and chokes her in her nostrils. There’s lubricant; it’s sweet, Alternian-synthesized; the engine noise suggests neglect above stark notes of dogged perseverance. Transport droid; legal business; chartered; inexpensive - but not a bargain model, either. 

"DELIVERY FOR T. PYROPE. TESTAMENT GOODS. REQUEST BLOOD SAMPLE." 

She obliges. 

"IDENTITY CONFIRMED. FOR THE GLORY OF THE EMPIRE." 

The mech’s signoff was strange. Can a robot be insincere? She should ask Sollux sometime. 

She’s not quite sure what to make of the delivery, either. Wooden, sapwood; painted? - she licks - painted; many bright colours including - ooh - her favorite. 

Ah. There’s a note. She laps up a familiar green: 

"Terezi! This is for you: for the good times. I won’t need it anymore, but I figured you might. I’ve got something that’s much better :33” 

There’s something else as well - a dedication punched out in braille. 

She manages to hold the tears back. 

_You can't be a hero  
Hiding underneath your bed  
Got to live the life  
You create inside your head  
So I opened the window  
Caught the wind one night  
Now I sail with the birds in their flight_


End file.
